The ability to get along well with peers in social or work related relationships.


Effective peer relationships are among the toughest to build in organizations. Many people get their lowest scores on 360° feedback from peers because they are uncooperative. Quite often these problems are a result of not finding common ground with peers, failure to understand what they want and need, and failure to understand the nature of the relationship.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.Ephesians 4:2-3

Skilled Characteristics

  • Commonalities

    Can quickly find common ground and solve problems for the good of all

  • Fair

    Can represent one's own interests and yet be fair to other groups

  • Discusses

    Can solve problems through open dialogue with peers

  • Cooperative

    Is seen as a team player and is cooperative

  • Trusted

    Easily gains the trust and support of peers

  • Collaborative

    Encourages collaboration and the sharing of credit for success

  • Candid

    Can be open and honest with peers

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked TO each other instead of ABOUT each other.”

– Unknown

Unskilled Characteristics

  • Lacks Understanding

    Doesn't understand what peers expect or need

  • Closed

    Not open to negotiation or discussion

  • Loner

    A loner, not seen as a team player, doesn't have the greater good in mind

  • Withholds

    May withhold information or resources from other team members

  • Respect

    May not respect other people or their roles and somehow communicates that

  • Competitive

    May be very competitive and focus on 'winning' or looking better than others

How could you better leverage the diversity of skills, giftings and experience of your peers?

Causes of Weakness

  • Experiences

    Bad experiences with peers in the past

  • Competitive

    Overly competitive with peers

  • Respect

    Does not respect other people or groups of people and the unique contribution they make

  • Style

    Impersonal style - not friendly or engaging

  • Independent

    Not a team player

  • Protective

    Hesitant to share important information with others

  • Communication

    Poor communication skills

  • Time Management

    Poor time management skills which causes frustration with peers

Which of these areas relates in some way to you?


Review the simple application steps below and choose 1 or 2 things you can do to spur yourself on to further growth.

  • Influencd

    INFLUENCE: Influence skills, understanding, and sharing is critical for building peer relationships. Don't just ask for things; find some common ground where you can provide help. What do the peers you're contacting need? Do you really know how they see the issue? Is it even important to them? How does what you're working on affect them? If it affects them negatively can you trade something, appeal to the common good, figure out some way to minimize the work? Go into peer relationships with a sharing mentality.

  • Be a Listener

    BECOME A BETTER LISTENER: How can you listen better? Do you pay close attention when others are talking? Do you give them eye contact to let them know you're listening? Try re-stating what you heard them say and ask if you understood them correctly. Write down what people say. Thank people for their input.

  • Understand Others

    UNDERSTAND OTHERS: Do you really understand the peers you need to deal with? What did they really want and need? How can you help them to achieve those things and know that you are on their side?

  • Competitive?

    COMPETITIVE? Be less competitive and more cooperative. Explain your thinking and invite others to explain theirs. Generate a variety of possibilities first rather than stake out your position. Be tentative, allowing others to give input. Focus on common goals, priorities and problems. Invite criticism of your ideas.

  • Gossip?

    GOSSIP? Confront people directly, politely and privately. Describe to them the situation and explain the impact on you. Don't blame. Give the person the chance to explain, ask questions, let him/her save some face and see if you can resolve the matter.