Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.Ephesians 4:2-3
Can quickly find common ground and solve problems for the good of all
Can represent one's own interests and yet be fair to other groups
Can solve problems through open dialogue with peers
Is seen as a team player and is cooperative
Easily gains the trust and support of peers
Encourages collaboration and the sharing of credit for success
Can be open and honest with peers
“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked TO each other instead of ABOUT each other.”
Doesn't understand what peers expect or need
Not open to negotiation or discussion
A loner, not seen as a team player, doesn't have the greater good in mind
May withhold information or resources from other team members
May not respect other people or their roles and somehow communicates that
May be very competitive and focus on 'winning' or looking better than others
How could you better leverage the diversity of skills, giftings and experience of your peers?
Causes of Weakness
Bad experiences with peers in the past
Overly competitive with peers
Does not respect other people or groups of people and the unique contribution they make
Impersonal style - not friendly or engaging
Not a team player
Hesitant to share important information with others
Poor communication skills
Poor time management skills which causes frustration with peers
Which of these areas relates in some way to you?
Review the simple application steps below and choose 1 or 2 things you can do to spur yourself on to further growth.
INFLUENCE: Influence skills, understanding, and sharing is critical for building peer relationships. Don't just ask for things; find some common ground where you can provide help. What do the peers you're contacting need? Do you really know how they see the issue? Is it even important to them? How does what you're working on affect them? If it affects them negatively can you trade something, appeal to the common good, figure out some way to minimize the work? Go into peer relationships with a sharing mentality.
Be a Listener
BECOME A BETTER LISTENER: How can you listen better? Do you pay close attention when others are talking? Do you give them eye contact to let them know you're listening? Try re-stating what you heard them say and ask if you understood them correctly. Write down what people say. Thank people for their input.
UNDERSTAND OTHERS: Do you really understand the peers you need to deal with? What did they really want and need? How can you help them to achieve those things and know that you are on their side?
COMPETITIVE? Be less competitive and more cooperative. Explain your thinking and invite others to explain theirs. Generate a variety of possibilities first rather than stake out your position. Be tentative, allowing others to give input. Focus on common goals, priorities and problems. Invite criticism of your ideas.
GOSSIP? Confront people directly, politely and privately. Describe to them the situation and explain the impact on you. Don't blame. Give the person the chance to explain, ask questions, let him/her save some face and see if you can resolve the matter.